Dad's Blanket

It was dark and light mustard
Not too pretty in fact
Jagged edges et al
But still a warm blanket.

I chanced upon it this morning
In and out of cupboards I was going
Foraging for a sock
Too many deadlines, too much of life .

It stopped me in my tracks, shocked me to my core
When my eyes fell upon dad's blanket
And I remembered why I'd saved it -
It had his scent, his memories and his warmth.

Everything flooded back in a flicker
His affectionate smile and caring love
His laughter and his dad jokes
His big paunch and his kind eyes

There was more of him earlier,
Shirts, ties and jackets too
One by one they'd lost his scent
And only this blanket held him still.

All these years I was deeply scared
To take this blanket out from hiding
Because if it didn't have him too
I'd know for sure, I'v lost him forever.

I slowly held it close to me
To savour an old smell once more
But I had to acknowledge what I already knew deep inside
The scent was long gone and dead.

But then! The hurt was gone, the cut had scarred
New life, healthy and supple, had washed over
Still his witty smile and the twinkle in his eyes
And his bottomless patience and love for me remains.

All that I know now is, Even when its dark
And there's no hope or happiness in sight
Even when I forget .. to love myself
His love drags me back, I'm daddy's little girl

If he could love me,
I know, So Can I.